Sunday 26.01.2020
Hi!
Happy Sunday all :)
I received a few messages from you guys on Instagram (@_stephaniesworld) after my last post about challenging ED thoughts, so i thought i would write a post on here.
So on Friday when I was deciding what snack to have, I had a very sneaky thought that came into my head saying ‘Oh but Steph you don’t need a Belgian bun now if you’re going for afternoon tea tomorrow...it’s too much sugar intake...just go with a safer cereal bar + fruit’ ❌🙅🏻♀️ughh NO! 🙅🏻♀️❌ This is when i had to stop and rationalise my thought process.
I admit at first I was tempted to give in, because afternoon tea is always something I used to fear during my ED* and i knew it would be a quick-fix, but I knew that if I did give in, it would just start the whole ED cycle off again. Then the next day I’d have to change a snack, then the next I’d have to change and so on until i find myself not eating a snack at all. Then I’d be back to square one. It is very hard to actively challenge your thoughts, but it’s the only way you’ll ever be able to rewire your brain. You'll feel rubbish for a bit but the feeling will pass. Your ED will certainly not pass.
(I had the Belgian bun btw, it was delicious as always!) So te fact I didn’t give in meant that I was in control. When you’re recovered, there will still be times when anorexic thoughts will try to crop back in to your head + pull you backwards, but you have to remain strong + stay in your lane.
*i’ve only noticed these past few days that going out for afternoon tea is actually something that still kinda scares me, but that’s OK. I now recognise that I need to go back and challenge it again, many more times just to remind myself that it’s OK to do this (+ very enjoyable too) + that nothing bad will happen. You just have to keep doing what scares you the most.
I do think it is normal to get these sneaky thoughts now and then when you're recovered, but it's about how you actively challenge them. Remember how far you have come, remember how hard you have fought to get where you are and remember that you CAN do this.
Love,
Stephanie xx
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