Christmas is a very magical time of the year; a time for singing Christmas carols, watching Christmas films & spending time with family. The celebrations are of course, very centred around food. For eating disorder sufferers, this can be a very daunting and anxiety provoking time.
When I was in the depths of my eating disorder, I so desperately wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted to, like everyone else, but I found this very challenging. My therapist helped me to plan out my meals on the day so I didn't feel too overwhelmed. In my family, we usually have our sit down Christmas Dinner around 3/4pm so this really worried me; do I have lunch before and then have this meal for my dinner? Do I class this as both? What time should I have breakfast? All these thoughts ran through my head and I found it difficult to deal with. Because we have a buffet dinner, this is really helpful because it means I can put exactly how much I want to on my plate. There is no expectation that I have to eat the same as everyone else. So, if you are suffering with anorexia, I would ask whoever is cooking the food if it could be served in this way. Next is dessert. Do I have Christmas cake? Do i have a slice of chocolate log? Do i have a mince pie & cream? Do i open the box of Celebrations? Do i really need a glass of prosecco as well? Again, so many things to process in my head. I usually go for 1 or 2 pieces, cut by myself so i feel comfortable with the amount. If i want more later on, then that's OK.
Christmas is a social time of the year and I like to be able to join in and have a glass or two of gin or WKD (yes that's right, WKD haha) or just fruit juice. Your eating disorder voice may tell you that drinking alcohol / juice is just 'a waste of calories' - IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE!!! If you want it, then you deserve to have it, just like everyone else sitting round the table.
I personally find playing Christmas games after the meal helps to distract any negative thoughts afterwards, and shifts the focus off food. Classic comments you might hear others say... "I feel like I've gained 10lb after that" or "I need to go on a diet in January!" I know it is very triggering to hear these comments so maybe ask your family to keep these comments to themselves, to just be sensitive to your feelings. Remember that we all have different needs. You do you.
I know it may be hard to cope with your feelings around Christmas food but just think to yourself that, if everyone else can enjoy it, then why can't you? We all deserve to join in with the festivities and eat delicious food. Don't let anorexia take the magic away.
Being able to join in now is the best feeling ever. Being able to go to the coffee shop and having that spontaneous mince pie. Things I always looked and envied other people for doing so. Yes I still get my off days, and I expect that I may get one or two negative thoughts on Christmas day, but I have learnt over the years to push them away. It might sound daft but I like to think of it as having a sweeping brush and brushing them away to one corner, then using a dustpan and brush, scooping them up and throwing them in the bin.
I hope you guys find this helpful and my DM is always open if you need any advice or just someone to talk to!
Love,
Stephanie x
Insta @_stephaniesworld
P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
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